My dear friend: In the first place, let me state that I do not see you as "more bound by karma than others," although I do think I can see how it appears that way for you at times. If one has more awareness of karma than those with whom one associates, one cannot help but see it playing out in the shared experiences, or in the point of observation of a friend's experience. In the long run, having an elevated awareness of the role karma plays in what most folks call their "reality" is actually a positive thing. It means one has grown enough in their accumulated life experiences to have a broader vision than may be available to others in one's experiences.

The truth is, everyone's mind is loaded with bakchaks (a Tibetan word meaning "karmic imprints"), which are the images, thoughts and belief structures that are literally "projected" into manifestation to be re-experienced by that individual - sometimes over and over for lifetimes. Of course, most people are simply not aware of this fact. Most people actually believe that what they perceive is what is really going on in their lives. The mind is such a powerful creator that most people simply do not question or challenge the thoughts and feelings the mind spews forth, or "projects." The goal of spiritual growth is to become so secure in one's Essence that one can literally see through mental projections - both those which originate in one's own mind and those that are projected at one from the minds of others. I think the best definition for the word "karma," is: "Any movement of the mind." Since minds are in constant motion, one can gain some idea of her or his karma by carefully observing how his/her mind moves, how it focuses, where it obsesses, and the general interpretation it places on events in one's life.

Understanding karma is no simple matter. Far too many people think they understand it while actually possessing only the most cursory of notions about it. A rather standard simplistic example would be the notion that if one kills a person in a given life, they will be killed by that same entity (although another person) in a succeeding life. While, of course, this does happen at times, such an example does not really teach much about karma. The whole creative field of a life is a product of karma. The above example of killing and subsequently being killed is not more nor less of a karmic event than is taking some small interaction with a friend or acquaintance too personally, and perhaps reacting in mild irritation in a given moment. It is for this very reason it becomes so important to have a spiritual practice of watching one's own mind.

For example, there is a colloquial expression which applies to attitude wherein one, in reflecting over an experience or event, might be asked: "So, is your glass half empty or half full?" It is easy to observe individuals who always seem to perceive their glass as half empty, or those on the opposite end of the spectrum who always see their glass as half full. The real question is, "What causes one person to always see their glass in one way, and another person to always see their life/glass in the opposite way?" The answer, of course, is, his/her karma. It is the coalescing of bakchaks from perhaps countless lifetimes that causes the mind to move in a repeating pattern. That pattern will arise again and again until the individual sees through the bakchaks that provided the creative mental manipulation that reinforced the pattern (or patterned way) of seeing an event, circumstance or interaction.

Several years ago, a young man came to see me for his depression. I asked him to tell me about his depression, and he said: "Well, it's like this. I left work today to go to my car, and when I got there, I had a flat tire." He paused for me to respond, and I said, "Yes?" His next remark was, "Well, it's always like that. I have been depressed for two and a half years!" He was stunned when I responded: "Oh, you mean you haven't eaten or slept in all that time?"

While he did believe what he was saying, the truth is that he was only remembering the moments of his depressions more acutely than the other moments. Indeed, if one sustains a given emotion for two minutes, the mind automatically sublimates it, or pushes it down into the subconscious area of mind. This means that one must bring up an emotional experience again and again in relatively short intervals to have the perception that the emotional state is actually sustained over long periods of time. To the individual having the experience of sustained depression, however, it does feel as if the emotional state is ongoing. Here is a case in point wherein we must distinguish the difference between what is really happening and what is only really experienced.

The way karma works is that through the projections of the mind, things actually appear to be happening that may not be happening at all. However, the mind is so powerful, creatively speaking, that until one really understands how karma works, one has no option for transcending his/her karma. In fact, one's karma is literally repeated, reiterated and reinforced by the projections of the mind through its interpretations, perceptions and, indeed, fantasies. The mere experience of seeing a ghost in no way proves it is actually there. Likewise, the mere experience of feeling insulted does not actually mean someone was trying to be insulting. The mind moves in the direction that it finds most familiar, which is why some people feel insulted multiple times a day, while others walk away from similar interactions finding it curious that the other person said whatever s/he said.

As far as noticing that others may have a heightened awareness of their karma when experiencing with you, it would be helpful if you could see this as a kind of gift you offer them by being present in their lives. While it may not always be easy or pleasant to watch karma ripen and unfold, when you see such happening, try to see yourself as high witness to the process/progress of the other person. As much as you can, remain in a neutral state, since becoming reactive in any way tends to reinforce - even strengthen - the power of the karma that is playing out. Do not confuse being neutral with not caring or the experience of feeling resignation. Rather, become that high witness for all sentient beings, and allow your witnessing to validate their journey into spiritual liberation.