My dear friend: These are very important questions to ask, and I do appreciate your quest for deeper insight into the relationship between the Higher Self (or Essence Self) and the lower self (or ego). In truth, these two are not generally understood other than in a cursory way, but with one's enlightenment hanging in between the two, it should behoove every serious student to investigate deeply into this great Mystery.

As a spiritual teacher, I often see situations where students believe they are hearing guidance from the Higher Self, when in actuality, they are hearing only from the ego mind. Often, the voice of the ego mimics the "sound" of the Higher Self, particularly in areas where an individual may be steeped in one form of non-clarity or another. Learning to differentiate between these two "voices" requires considerable understanding of the ego, in particular, and of the nature of Consciousness, generally.

In truth, the ego is not actually an enemy of the Higher Self. Rather, it is a part of consciousness that perceives itself to be separate from, and therefore in conflict with, the Higher Self. As a result of its perception, the ego struggles for power over anything that would threaten its illusion of ultimate power. This is why the ego is the source of suffering for every person. In the first place, its perception that it is separate from the Higher Self causes it to suffer. But secondly, the ego's insistence on needing to remain separate in order to maintain its own individuality from the Higher Self also causes it to suffer. As you can probably see, this is a "No Win" situation for the ego. And yet, the ego's illusion is that it must, and is, continually winning something. The Higher Self, on the other hand, does not keep score; has no need to exert power over the ego, but rather, sees the continual suffering of the ego and experiences great compassion for it.

As the spiritual journey progresses, the ego is not killed or extinguished in any negative way. Rather, one could say it is "re-educated." Ultimately, it does appear as if this is a merging process, but the Higher Self does not merge with the ego in its "uneducated" state. To do so, the Higher Self would have to overpower the ego and dissolve it against its little egoic will - an action which is categorically NOT of Higher Mind, or Essence. Rather, the ego must cleanse its creative force of the non-clarity and distortional thinking which caused the perception it holds of being separate from, and/or in conflict with, the Higher Self. In truth, while this perception of separation is really experienced, it is definitely not Real. As the aspirant progresses along the path, discernment is cultivated until the illusion of the separate ego is seen for what it is: a mental projection based on the karmic imprints one is seeking to transcend.