This is a most interesting question - one which disturbs many Westerners. In truth, it is not the kind of thing that usually occurs in the evolving psyches of individuals who were born and raised in other cultures. In some ways, I believe this affliction to be a sort of "hangover" from the Judeo-Christian backdrop of the West. Both these religions teach that the way into the Divine is a path through guilt and shame, and I find the influence of that kind of thinking to be very difficult for individuals to throw off. In the more fundamental varieties of both these religions, practitioners are usually taught to think in terms of "either/or," and often the belief is that "If I do not feel horribly guilty and shameful when standing before God, I will affront God with my self-importance."

In both these religions, it is not good to affront God! Often people adopt the stance that if they can punish themselves hard enough for all their little "transgressions," then God will go easier on them in the afterlife. I find this interesting, because as I scan the sacred texts in both these religions, I can find no instance where God says such a thing. That is, neither in "His own voice," nor through the voices of the prophets (Old Testament) nor through the teachings of Jesus' apostles, nor the teachings of the early Christians. This is something that has been inferred by the belief in a punishing God. But herein lies a great contradiction. One of the very often quoted biblical texts is simply, "God is Love." If one thinks about this from the point of a parent, as God is said to be, then one can perhaps see beyond the guilt-laden psyches which so populate the Western world.

If you put yourself in the parental role, and think of your children (or perhaps your pets), would you really like it if they punished themselves for every single mistake they made? Think how you might feel if your children went around chanting, "I am so sinful I do not deserve any good thing; I do not deserve the love of my parent." Perhaps they even took to beating themselves with ropes or leather thongs that had stones or shards of glass embedded in the fibers. How would this make you feel as the parent? Do you think you might wonder where the children ever got such a strange idea about securing your love and grace?

In this light, I must tell you about an incident that happened in one of the Dalai Lama's New York visits. He was hosting a meeting for great religions of the world to come together. At one point, he was giving audience to a group of Jewish Rabbis. They had been focusing on the similarities of spiritual paths (rather than on the differences which appear to divide religious people today). Near the end of the session, one of the Rabbis asked His Holiness, "How do you handle the problem of self-hate among your followers?" The Dalai Lama asked for the question to be repeated. When it was, he said again, "I'm afraid I do not understand. Could you repeat the question once more for me?" After the third asking, His Holiness turned to his interpreter and asked him to repeat the question in Tibetan. When that was done, His Holiness turned back to his guests and said, "I'm afraid I cannot answer your question. I do not understand it."

Clearly, this notion of self-hatred had never arisen in the consciousness of this great teacher, who has heard the suffering of his own people, and has addressed the suffering of others all over the world. In the West, however, for many of you it just seems a natural state. I think it is a good time to ask yourselves, "Where did it come from that I think of myself in these terms?" "How is it I have come to consider myself my own enemy?" "Is it really even possible to hate myself?"

Of course in the West it does feel as if one can hate him/herself, for many suffer greatly from this affliction, even though it may simply be a trick wherein the ego-mind "pulls the wool" over the eyes of the true, or Essential, mind. When one feels such strong and powerfully impactful emotions toward oneself, one must begin to dismantle the ego structure which holds that such notions can first of all be true, and secondly, that they are somehow an appropriate focus for the individual to hold. And so, one must cut through the presentation of this egoic notion.

The interesting thing here is that such a perspective doesn't seem like it is an ego issue. Most people think of ego issues as being the over-aggrandized ego. But in truth, it doesn't matter whether the ego overvalues itself nor undervalues itself. Both are limitations of a wounded ego that must be seen through in order to gain an appreciation of what is. It doesn't really matter whether one likes or dislikes one's own ego - the job is still the same. One must cut through both glamour and aversions, to be whole.

Perhaps a good place to start is to recognize that one cannot really be a friend to anyone else without being a friend to oneself. While this seems possible at one level, that is actually a false belief. In truth, you are the other. In generating kindness toward any other sentient being, one is actually generating kindness to oneself - even if the ego mind tells you otherwise. Since you are not separate (even though the ego disagrees here) from any other part of Creation, you cannot really be kind to one part and not kind to another part. When you are kind, you are kind to all Creation - self included. When you are mean spirited, you are such to all Creation.

Is it possible for you to consider that all of life is moving through you? As you create your journey, you see before you two pools. One is a pool of kindness, the other is a pool of meanness, perhaps cruelty. You have the choice of walking through either pool on your life path. The decision is strictly up to you. If you are like most people, sometimes you seem to have one foot in one pool and the other foot in the other pool, for sometimes the pools seem to touch. Just know that since Life is flowing through you, you take all that experiencing with you when you wade into either pool. You cannot really walk for humanity - or all other sentient beings - in one pool, and walk for yourself in the other pool. Therefore, it leads one to consider whether the notion of self-hatred can even exist for someone who generally does care for others.

In truth, if one is on a spiritual path, they cannot really be an enemy to oneself. Were that the case, that one would never look to deepen spiritually. The fact that one has such a question as this already shows such to be an impossibility from the large view. From the personal view, however, the ego may trick one into believing it is possible to hate the self. If one believes that, then there will be thoughts, words and behaviors that seem to demonstrate such. One is then confronted with the power of one's beliefs - even if those beliefs are false. When thoughts and feelings of self-deprecation arise, one must have a means for releasing those thoughts and feelings. It is clear that they are really not helpful in the enlightenment journey.

To directly answer this question, I tell you that no thought nor feeling is too small for enlightenment. First, one makes space inside self for the experience to be exactly what it is. Then one investigates that thought or feeling with a sound intelligence. Ultimately, one learns that virtually every thought and every feeling is a kind of opportunity, or door if you will, to one's own enlightenment. For further knowledge in dealing with such heavy afflictions, you might like to order a recorded teaching I did on the subject. It is called Forest of Delusion.

Thank you for this question. May you find your true nature, which is already whole.